I recently realized that you can become so busy that you totally lose your own identity. Somehow in an effort to achieve all that is expected of you, you become what others perceive you to be instead of what you truly are from the inside out. This loss of identity creates an incredible void , a void so broad and far-reaching that there’s no way you can fill it until you remove yourself from all external stimuli and go back to that personal quiet place, that peaceful place, where no other is allowed but you and your creator. Even then, peeling away the layers of others’ expectations takes some time. It is an effort that must be accomplished for only then that you can begin to hear that still, small voice inside that reminds you of what your own dreams and desires are.
Your divinely placed seeds of love and dreams of your heart are intrinsic to you fulfilling your destiny, your mark on this earth, and your mark on eternity. Those unblemished seeds of desire spur activity and reactivity that might never be seen but complete the plans for your prosperous future and the future of others. If singing is on your heart, sing! If nursing for others is on your heart, be a nurse. If riding a horse is on your heart, ride! There is an outcome planned as a result of your activity. it may be for you, but it is most certainly also for others. These outcomes, when they remain unblemished, are good, healthy, and rich in satisfaction.
I suppose that that’s how folks in the public eye can totally lose themselves and become egomaniacs instead of servant leaders. They are so busy living other peoples dreams and earthly desires that they forget their own. They also forget, or ignore, their own seeds of divinely placed morality. At that point every decision is made from a state of numbness. Because they function from the outside in instead of the inside out, being “comfortably numb” keeps them from making the best decisions. There ceases to be filter of conscience. The self protecting armor can then become so weakened that any intruder can invade it. Exposure to misdoings and misconceptions becomes exponentially higher.
That is also a catalyst for losing relationships, even those that should be the closest and tightest and with the most loyal bonds. Those relationships cease to be known, the feelings and intimacy unfamiliar, and the individual loses also himself. The enemy has then accomplished his work. That still, small voice is no longer heard and the inherently woven dreams within one’s heart are no longer visible. The purest thoughts, the purest intentions, and the purest efforts are all lost for the noise of the outside world.